Holiday Reflections

The speed that time flies through the holidays makes the idea of a science fiction time warp something worth considering. When I realized I hadn't posted for over two months I was amazed. I started listing in my mind the things that had transpired in my world and I was doubly saddened as I realized several things worth speaking of had gone into the night without a mention. So since this blog is The Way I See It, I'll try to show you what my holidays are like.

Mine is a blended family of seven children established when they were teenagers in 1990. In self defense, I found ways of making the traditions of both families work right off the bat. Also as time passed, I also tried to be considerate of the choices my adult children made as they married and began to establish family traditions of their own, which had to be blended with still another family of outlaws (oh pardon me!) in-laws.

Thanksgiving was always about the feast of the Dead Bird, and my family always invited everyone to come. I didn't change that in my new family, I just doubled my recipes and invited everyone to bring their favorite dishes and a guest if they desired. We always have had a houseful, including new faces so that was just more of the same.

The new thing I realized during conversation that day was Christmas morning was not going to be as it had always been. One child would be with this ex-spouse, one child with that ex-spouse, this child wanted to bring their boyfriend, who was a foreign exchange student without family, that child had been invited to their girlfriends house, one wanted to bring this friend, and on it went. So I improvised.

I got a tablet and wrote down all the names of all the people that would be in town for Christmas. I included all boyfriends, girlfriends, aunts, uncles, spouses, grandparents, fiances, etc. Then I put the names in a bowl and we passed it around drawing names for a gift exchange. The rule was that you could only provide one gift for Christmas for the person whose name you drew and it had to be handmade or less than $20 if purchased. The goal was to get them to think about the other person and encourage bonding, and caring.

Everyone would have their Christmas morning with whatever natal family they chose and then would gather for a cold sandwich buffet and gift exchange, at our home, at two in the afternoon. The family was excited about only having to provide for one member as we were many in number, not wealthy and all the kids were in school or college.

Many phone calls, shopping trips, projects and secrets later our first blended family Christmas came off without a hitch. It not only worked but fun was had by all and the tradition has stuck. Over the years, I have found hidden benefits in this new tradition. I don't have to spend the day cooking. Paper plates make cleanup a snap. The kids all bring their best toys with them to show and so everyone gets to play with tons of new stuff. The jokes and play that the homemade gifts encourage are some of the priceless memories our family shares.

And lastly, as the years have passed and my family has gotten spread across the country and the grandchildren have come and our busy lives get in the way. I know that between Thanksgiving and Christmas my family is having happy thoughts of one another, making phone calls, shopping trips, projects and secrets that make our holidays so wonderful.